Sex is a minefield. Tricky. For two consenting adults who are on exactly the same page, hooking up can be the perfect scratching post for a very particular itch. But, rarely is that the way. And that’s because, in casual sex, we treat the other person like sh*t, to prove how little we emotionally care and how Dzchilldz we are. Lets start with this simple rule. You can only f*ck somebody you actually like. Like as in respect. Like as in, would introduce to your roommate the morning after. Like as in, wouldn’t actively go out of your way to be an asshole to. Because if you want a punching bag, go to the gym – not the bedroom. Actually care
We’re so guilty of trying to be the Dzcooldz girl (or boy) when it comes to sex. Do not be a pig. Do not be the girl or guy so desperate to get laid that you establishes yourself as Dznot like those other bitchesdz. It’s totally cool if you don’t want anything other than physical – totally. But that doesn’t make you special. Another thing, don’t put other women down to get what you want. It’s not cute. Be a compassionate human being, please –it’s much more attractive.
Actually care, yes. But you should avoid sharing intimate secrets. In fact, keep talking to the minimum. Don’t extend your communication beyond the basic texting and occasional snap chats.
Sex is sex, and if you’re just going to have casual sex dating app then you cannot talk about your feelings with each other. No meaningful conversations, no intimate evenings, and no crying on his shoulder. You don’t have to go into detail about how your boss’s nagging got to you or how much you miss your cat you lost last year. Basically, no one cares about much about the other person during casual sex, besides the sex. Don’t expect him to do the same either. It will only make the situation more awkward for both of you.
And… awkward is never fun.
Establish your criteria
The good kind of f*ck buddy fits a certain criteria, and if your buddy isn’t matching up you need to find somebody who does. Don’t settle. Plenty of other people want to have sex with you, so search for the one worthy of dat ass.
Find a friend-with-benefits who is single. Yes, single. It is literally incomprehensible how many of us desire something that is off limits and not ours. Resist the temptation because no one wants to be known as the “home-wrecker”. Again, not cute.
No ulterior motives
Occasionally can you wiggle somebody into a relationship. If a relationship is actually what you want, you need to be a grown-up and say so. Do not start f*cking with the hope of a future, when you’ve both said, out loud, that fucking is all is it.
If you really don’t want a relationship, you need to say that at the beginning, out loud, and face-to-face.
There is no way you can have sex with somebody just to test the waters. That’s how people get hurt, and end up becoming stage five clingers. “It was just a one-night-stand, why is she calling me?”
If you doubt, even just a little, that your f*ck buddy has even the smallest hope of taking things further, stop sleeping with them. If you keep sleeping with them, well get ready for kids, quick.
Know your boundaries
If your booty call only ever gets in touch when they’re drunk, it’s past midnight, asks for dirty pictures and basically just annoys you, you’re selling yourself short. Drunken sex is fun sex, along with any kind of sex, but a somewhat sober f*ck will far surpass a sloppy drunken fumble.
Penciling in a F*ck date is exciting. That itself takes care of any kind of foreplay needed. You can even sext up until you actually get together. But just remember that you should not stand for constant last minute cancellations and excuses. Your time is just as precious as theirs.
So why do we have casual sex? Maybe its because we aren’t ready for monogamy or marriage, and might never be? Maybe it’s because we haven’t met that person. Or we can’t decide on one.
Still, we crave sex. And no matter how tired we are the 1 a.m. texts will still come in.
Are you awake?
Can you come over?
We’ll be happy to see our phone light up as you squint your eyes to read the flirty text. We won’t be able to wait to touch them and f*ck them because in addition to sex satisfying us, we want to feel the affection, confidence, and rush of excitement that comes with sex.
Be ready for anything
Don’t try to force a fling when the excitement is gone. You could ruin what might have been a fun memory with fighting. Essentially, you’ll turn it into a breakup. And remember…that’s one of the perks of casual sex! There is no breaking up.
Make sure you are prepared for your casual sex to end at any moment. If it gets too real or you start to care about him, then end it if you’re not into that. If he starts to treat you bad instead of good, or is disrespectful to you, end it.
There’s a difference between having casual sex and letting someone take advantage of you.
Be safe. Have fun. Establish boundaries. Be playful. But most of all, especially in casual sex, just be nice.
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